Meow York Times Obtain LEAKED First Draft of Trump’s Inauguration letter to Biden

Meow York Times has obtained a leaked first draft of what appears to be an inauguration letter from Donald Trump to Joe Biden. Trump continues a long tradition set by past presidents of handing down handwritten notes on the day of the inauguration. Sources claim that Trump used President Obama’s letter as reference and wanted to make sure his own letter was just as complex and thoughtful.

Dear Sleepy Joe,

Congratulations for RIGGING and STEALING the election. I won the election. Not you. I WON THE ELECTION. AMERICAN'S FAVORITE PRESIDENT. Millions have placed their hopes in me and only me. I received 74 million LEGAL AND REAL votes, the most votes ever received!

This office is only suited for me. I'm the blueprint for success. No one can do a better job than me. My advice to you is to turn yourself into the police for being corrupt, like your son Hunter and his laptop full of disaster. Anyways, let me explain all my accomplishments from the past 4 years, soon to be 8, then 12.

First, as acknowledged by my Administration's Science and Technology department, I ended the Covid-19 Pandemic. "From the outset of the COVID-19 pandemic, the Administration has taken decisive actions to engage scientists and health professionals in academia, industry and government to understand, treat and defeat the disease". SEE! They said I defeated the disease! Also, I'm the ONLY REASON A VACCINE WAS DISCOVERED. If you were in office, it would take you 20 years.

Second, I am the epitome of American leadership. I am America's favorite President. The entire world wishes I can be their President but too bad so sad! There is only one of me!

Third, TWELVE MORE YEARS! TWELVE MORE YEARS! Some say I am the most unfairly treated President that my first four years don't count. Must I remind you all that I received 74 million LEGAL VOTES, the MOST A PRESIDENT HAS EVER RECEIVED.   

Finally, as the greatest leader, I am told I should compliment those in my administration. Urban Dictionary defines Bitch Boy as "A male who is a sissy and/or submissive that like's getting his a** f*****". Find yourself grown men with little to no spine, like Lindsey Graham, Rudy Giuliani and Mike Pence, and let them be the face for your hypocritical stances. If by luck you ever fail, these little bitches will help jump in the way of the bullet.

Melania and I want to wish you and Jill the best as you embark on your journey to the elections commissioner to resign your post. You are denying 74 MILLION REAL AND LEGAL AND VERY MUCH ALIVE VOTERS from their favorite President.

Do America a favor and lock yourself up.

Donald J. Trump

P.S. I WON THE ELECTION BY A LANDSLIDE OF 410 ELECTORAL VOTES.