PRESIDENT TRUMP WINS THE NOBLEST PEACE PRIZE

In an unprecedented move to upstage the Norwegian Nobel Committee, the White House has formed their own committee to hand out a new prize dubbed as the Noblest Peace Prize. The Noblest Peace Prize’s winner will be decided by the White House administration and will be awarded annually, starting this year.

Surprising almost no one, the White House announced that this year's winner of the Noblest Peace Prize is President Trump. 

“President Trump met all the strict prerequisites that is required of a nominee of a prize of this stature. Many global leaders were nominated but did not meet the high eligibility requirements. Unlike the standard Nobel Peace Prize, the Noblest Peace Prize combines all categories, science, literature, medicine, economics and peace. The recipient must dominate all those fields.”

When asked about who the other nominees were, the administration dodged and deflected the question to describe the medal that comes with the prize. The recipient of the prize will get a tax-payer subsidized 24 karat medal that has a very special engraving of the first winner of the prize, Donald J. Trump’s face. 

Meow York Times stepped in to question whether this award was created just to appease President Trump but was again ignored by the administration. Instead, the administration started talking about President Trump’s accomplishments and how he is the only one capable of winning the prestigious prize. 

“President Trump is very deserving of the first ever Noblest Peace Prize. President Trump has created the strongest economy of any known President. His knowledge of science surprises even the top scientists in the world. His proficiency in literature can only be described as of stable genius levels. And his contribution to America’s greatest health care system, the Trump Care, has covered everyone in America with the lowest prescription drug prices ever.”