*LEAKED* letter from Kim Jong Un to Purr-resident Trump reveals something surprising

By Rachel Mad-doe
Wed Jul 03 2019
*LEAKED* MYT obtains Kim Jong Un's "Love Letter" to Purr-resident Trump!
*LEAKED* MYT obtains Kim Jong Un's "Love Letter" to Purr-resident Trump!
Shortly after Trump’s meeting with Kim Jong Un, Purr-resident Trump brandished  a letter to the press claiming it’s “a secret, very loving, very beautiful letter” from Kim Jong Un himself. The press quickly called the Purr-resident’s bluff and yelled out “prove it”. It was then when Trump flashed open the letter while proclaiming the press as “fake news” and “always unfair” to him. Having outwitted the Purr-resident, the press quickly snapped photos of the letter. The MYT photographer was even able to confirm a fragrance of bright fermented cabbage and sweet potato entwined with a gentle intoxicating scent of earthly bark from the forests of Pyongyang.
Meow York Times Korean Affairs Team has looked at the photos and transcribed the letter...
*LEAKED* Kim Jong Un's "Love Letter" to Purr-resident Trump
*LEAKED* Kim Jong Un's "Love Letter" to Purr-resident Trump
나의 사랑스런 고양이 대통령 트럼프에게,

이 편지는 나를 군사분계선에서 안아주신 더없이 자비로우심과 끊임없는사랑에 감사의 마음을 전하기 위해 씁니다. 우리는 전세계가 목격하는 인생에 한번 있을까말까한 역사적인 순간에 서로의 근육질의 가슴을 맞대고 안았습니다. 이렇게 두 거대조직의 독재자 두명이 모여 각 두 나라의 막강함을과시한적은 없었습니다.  단 시간이 모자른 관계로 내가 소장한 광대한 규모의 전차와 대포를 보여드리지 못한게 아쉬웠을 따름입니다. 축포 미사일 한방을 남측바다에 한방 쏴주고 우스꽝스럽게 무서워하는 남측의 반응을 보며 미친듯이 같이 웃었을텐데 말입니다.

당신의 나의 염원중에 하나를 해결해주셨습니다.  나의 영원한 지도자 아버지 김정일 동지께선 막강한 미국이 더 막강한 우리 북조선의 땅에 나의 명령에 따라 발들여놓는 모습에 기뻐하셨을겁니다. 난 언젠가 한번 푸틴과 셋이서 평양에 있는 나의 집에서 삼자섹스를 했다는 추문에 휩싸이는걸 꿈꿔볼따름입니다. 우크라이나, 남한, 멕시코같은 찌질하고 약한 나라들을 어떻게괴롭힐지 얘기해보면 참 재밌을겁니다.

아무튼,  좀 많이 횡설수설 지껄인거 같네요.  조만간에 다시 또 만나길 기대합니다.

당신의 답장을 기다리며


추신: 당신과의 약속대로 이 만남을 성공적으로 이끈 수하 당원들을 처형하지 않고 보상으로 먹을것도 주고 깨끗한물로 목욕하게 해줬습니다.

추신2: 사랑합니다.

The KAT staff has also provided a rough translation of the letter below. Because of the complexity of the Korean language, some terms and sentences may be lost in translation.

To my lovely pussy cat Purr-resident Trump,

I write to inform you of my ever gracious and loving perpetual thanks for embracing me at the DMZ. We held each other in our muscular bosom as the world witnessed this monumental once in a lifetime event. Never before has 2 distinguished big league behemoth dictators assembled to demonstrate the great powers of their respective countries. I only wish we had more time as I wasn't able to show you my vast collection of tanks and artillery. I would have even fired a celebratory missile into the waters near South Korea so you can see their comically frightened response so we can laugh together hysterically.

You have fulfilled one of my core desires on my 'bucket list'. My great eternal father, Kim Jong Il, will have been pleased that the laughably great United States of America stepped into the more superior North Korea peacefully at my command. I can only dream that one day we will have a scandalous threesome with Putin together at my home in Pyongyang. We can talk about bullying the limp powerless countries like Ukraine, South Korea and Mexico. It would be so much fun.

Anyways, I have babbled on for a bit too long. I hope we meet again soon.

Waiting patiently for your reply,

Your Porkly Prince,



I have followed your request to make sure that those responsible for this successful meeting will not be executed and that they will be given proper food and a clean shower as their reward.


I love you.

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