Over 2 Years In Charge, Here’s What Trump Has Accomplished.

By Rachel Mad-doe
Mon May 27 2019
The Purr-resident touching a ball that he deems as mystical.
The Purr-resident touching a ball that he deems as mystical.
Over the years, I have been a harsh critic of Purr-resident Trump but I must give credit where credit is due. Here are the accomplishments of Trump during his reign.
Jobs
  • Created millions of new jobs since the inauguration.
  • Unemployment rate at an all time low.
  • More Americans are employed now than ever before.
American Businesses
  • Gave farmers an astounding $28 billion dollar package for being sacrificial lambs in his trade war.
  • Supported American Corporations like Amazon by not only letting them get away with not paying any federal taxes, but also granting them $129 million dollars in tax rebate.
  • Generated about $100 million in revenue for various businesses including his hotel and golf resorts. Trump has played a total of 178 times since he’s been at office, which is quite an accomplishment!
American Exceptionalism
  • Made the 'USA USA USA' chant more popular than ever.
  • Been the most inspirational president to unite the right
  • Holds the world record for the most number of hats sold.
  • Make America Great Again (Made in China edition).
Veteran Affairs
  • Dodged the unrelenting rain that he would have endured going to the WW I cemetary by staying at home to tweet about his bone spurs.
Foreign Policy
  • Befriended and allied the great Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, despite his base's fear of the Muslims.
  • Formed a holy trinity with King Salman and President Abdel Fattah by touching the mystical orb and vowed together to conquer the world!
  • WTFBBQPWNED Huawei from the face of the US. Saved the American people from using cheap Chinese phones.
  • Created an award winning promotional video for Kim Jong Un. Then had his people collect the happy tears that flowed from Kim Jong Un's eyes.
  • Delivered a record breaking 19 second handshake with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.
  • Hammered Canada with steel and aluminum tariffs because Ivanka gave Trudeau the look. The look is reserved only for Trump and sometimes Jared.

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Purr-resident Trump struggling to force the umbrella through the doors. Circle peg rectangle hole?
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2
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1
By Rachel Mad-doe
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An anonymous source leaked the first draft document to the Meow York Times where it contained more redactions than ever before.
An anonymous source leaked the first draft document to the Meow York Times where it contained more redactions than ever before.

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